Back again

4.5 days early, and with a maxed out visa card due to purchasing new ticket home. Wish there was a way for me to sell the rest of my original ticket. Talked to Mum for over three hours today. She patiently listened to every little thing that went wrong on this trip, and as I talked to her I began to see why I feel so completely ugh over it all. Also spoke with Dad – very happy to actually have functional communication with both halves of my family. Still quite a novelty. The relationships are very different yet compliment each other well. Mum listened to everything I had to say, then when I rang Dad we spoke more about other stuff, well mainly the tsunami. Dad told me that I took things a little too far in trying to get to know the locals this time round. Yeah, gotta say when I saw hospital visit listed on the itinery, I didn’t think that meant being admitted! Still very tired and icky…going to find a doctor tomorrow and get checked out properly. Somehow the diagnosis of food poisoning is just not making sense to me. Actually really wish I had’ve thought to buy a ticket back to Australia, seeing as I had to fork out money regardless. Would be very, very nice to be home right now, seeing a doctor I know and trust and getting some pep back. But I wasn’t thinking straight and so I’m back in japan, trying to decide where to go for thorough medical advice in english.
God, it would be _really_ nice to be back in oz right now. Mum’s offered me an air ticket home and it’s very tempting. But then my logical mind steps in, telling me it would mean an 11 hour flight, a few days then another 11 hour flight back in time for work. Being sick and vulnerable around a group of people who aren’t my friends and don’t really know me, made me really want to connect with friends back home again. Not over lj, not over e-mail or the phone, but physically (and for once I’m not being smutty 😉 I want to see people. I want to hug them. I want to have a cuppa and just let the comfort of knowing each other, of knowing that I’m understood, to wash over me and wrap me up warm and safe. I suspect that these feelings have also been encouraged by seeing the devastation caused by the tsunami, and having a small amount of time of wondering if two of my dearest friends were ok or if they were amongst the missing. Wondering what life would be like without them, a horrible, horrible thought. Not to diminish any of my other friendships, but Tracy and Wendy were two people who saw me and recognised my spirit before I even did. In different ways, they brought me out of my shell, a shell which most people today never see. So much of who I am, I owe to their love and encouragement, and their loyalty in sticking by me. Those sort of friendships cannot be replaced easily, if ever.
I really should go to bed now, otherwise this threatens to become so soppy the computer will need tissues.

starofpersiaJanuary 4, 2005 - 3:11 pm

Awww honey! Seems like everybody’s trips went sour didn’t it? (maybe you should have caught my flight to Aus ;)) I’m not due back at work til friday so if you need any moral, telephonic or physical support I’m here for you (esp. since your dvds have been a life saver!)I know it’s not the same as your friends back home, but… Did the Tsunami affect the area where you were staying? There’s a hospital in Kyoto w. good English support in Kyoto, I’m sure there’s something in Osaka too, though you probably are feeling pretty ill? Please let me know if there is any way I can help.
At any rate I’m hoping to make a second attempt to visit Aus in spring…shall we make our great escape together? 😉

daisynerdJanuary 4, 2005 - 4:26 pm

That sounds really sucky. I understand wanting to be back with people who’ve known you for a long time and understand. I wish I could make it better. I don’t know much about what sort of sick you are, but if it’s a possibility, I’d check out giardia (I think that’s how it’s spelt), a friend of mine had it untreated for a while and with the right treatment it went away really quickly. I think it was a tummy thing, but not certain. I hope you feel better right now, as you read this and that it lasts.

Sending you lots of love and hugs (but I so know how electronic hugs are not the same thing).

the_taoJanuary 4, 2005 - 6:29 pm

Quick Trips

My suggestion: grab the trip home, even if it is only for a few days. The trip to Osaka is only marginally longer than a trip to Sydney or Adelaide by car; and airline seats are a heck of a lot more comfortable *and* you get served drinks such as sake and plum wine (at least on JAL).

In the end however it is a case of doing what feels right to you. Simply know that you, as well as Tracey and Wendy, have been in our thoughts.

Hugs, love and best wishes

m0lybdenumJanuary 5, 2005 - 12:33 am

Wow, I don’t even know the details and it sounds like hell. If you need anything, let me know. I can bring tea and magazines and garlic naan.

kitlingJanuary 5, 2005 - 1:17 am

Thank you so much for the yumminess and wonderful kimono and tiggrr things and all – although i’m still undecided on the plum tea – not sure if i like it or not 🙂 The package showed up and i saw the purple writing on the front and bounced that has to be from amber before i read anything and hooray it was and you rock. Now me and fi have to co-ordinate the kimono wearing to something.

I’m looking forward to seeing you soon. My kid sister mentioned that easter eggs and hot cross buns are in Coles yesterday and I was stunned to realise just how close it is to easter. Really its only a few weeks before your planned visit anyway and there will be all the hugs and kitten love in the world then – has anyone told ophelia?

I also started panicking about finishing my con game. 🙂

biggest hugs for you. I will ring you on my bday weekend when mark and nikki are in town.

unless of course you’d like a call sooner 🙂

_nightflower_January 5, 2005 - 5:46 am

I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a shit time 🙁

Hope things get better for you soon…

gypsyamberJanuary 5, 2005 - 6:48 am

Thanks. Decided the effort of getting home was less than the effort of finding a decent doctor here or in Osaka. think I really just want some familiarity as well and want to deal with someone whose natie language is english. Twill be a really nice change.

gypsyamberJanuary 5, 2005 - 6:51 am

You are the third person to tell me about giardia. At first I figured that if it didn’t get treated right here, I would get tested in march when i went home. But I feel so crap, so tired and off food that I think whatever it is, it needs to be treated soon. Besides, I’d like to know what it is I have/had.
the hugs are still much appreciated.

gypsyamberJanuary 5, 2005 - 7:21 am

Re: Quick Trips

Unfortunately I’m off alcohol at the moment – actually everything tastes bad to me and sore tummy after food intake does not encourage me much either. Still, I’m flying back with Singapore airlines, an airline I’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet due to always going with the cheapest flight! Of course it’s ok to fwd my locked journal entries to Nat.

gypsyamberJanuary 5, 2005 - 7:22 am

Thanks so much for the offer. Kinda think I should’ve just stayed here for holidays. If I wasn’t going home, I’d definitely take you up on the offer of tea and magazines 🙂
Will catch up properly with you once I’m back, again.

gypsyamberJanuary 5, 2005 - 7:25 am

You could coordinate kimono wearing to visit me next week maybe… I’d love to see you guys.

Hmm.. hopefully I can get my appetite back to make good being in time for hot cross buns. Has brumbies started with the choc ones yet? Or was that bakers delight…

gypsyamberJanuary 5, 2005 - 7:29 am

Things started looking better the minute I booked my ticket home. There was a lot of bullshit going on with the project I was with too so feel like the whole experience has been one big emotion-sapper, leaving me an emotional mess who almost cries when a dr refuses to do the tests I want. Not pretty. I’m sure things will get better once I get some anwers and proper treatment. Besides, things could be much worse..I could’ve followed through on the temptation to go back to the idylic beach in Thailand, or one of my friends might have. So really I feel pretty lucky and kinda sooky to be upset over stuff which pales in comparison to what else is going on in sth-east asia.

starofpersiaJanuary 5, 2005 - 7:45 am

I think you made the right choice. Is there anyway you can contact your school to tell them that you are having a medical emergency and get a couple extra days off? Anyway, have a safe, lovely trip home.

gypsyamberJanuary 5, 2005 - 2:19 pm

Just emailed my supervisor explaining the situation. He’ll contact my first school – assuming of course he grants me nenkyuu. But if he doesn’t, well too bad really. i’m leaving early tomorrow morning so he’ll have to demand I come back. I think he’ll be okay with it but not really sure. Wish I had’ve thought of just saying “medical emergancy”! Would’ve sounded much more urgent and “don’t ask me about it”.
The really, really cool upside…apart from seeing mum, hopefully dad, and friends again, is that I may even be able to have my cat come down and stay with me. Yay. Having my big round fluffy football purring away in my arms would make everything better.

_nightflower_January 5, 2005 - 10:10 pm

It’s only human to feel emotional about what might have been. Best to let it out now than have it sneak up and explode out at a less appropriate time later on.

PS: I recently found the photo I took of you at the Osborne St house-warming. When I have a second to myself, I’ll email it to you 🙂

thagJanuary 6, 2005 - 9:56 am

Courage, kiddo. All my biggest hugs goin’ your way.

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