Six weeks, second time round

When Monsieur was six weeks old, I forced myself to get out my big camera, go to the park and take some photos. I had to make myself look at him. Stop the feed-pump-rock-walk-no sleep cycle and actually look at him and appreciate him and spend time with him. It was hard. It was forced. It didn’t come naturally. I was exhausted. I trudged to the park with the pram. I skipped the post-feed pump so we could go to the park – our usual routine did not allow enough time to be gone for that long; I may have even fed him at the park and skipped the next pump as well. It was like playing hookey so I could enjoy my son. I knew that I was supposed to be enjoying my son. Everyone told me so. Mostly I remember that day being really cold. I felt awkward being out with him, awkward with the camera. I had no idea how to take a photo of us together and I had absolutely no idea how I was meant to be enjoying this baby. I loved him so much, but I wasn’t really enjoying him. He seemed so fragile and tiny and I was so scared that I would break him.

2016-05-06 six weeks sml-117 May 20112016-05-06 six weeks sml-317 May 20112016-05-06 six weeks sml-217 May 2011

 

It is so different with SnuggleBub. My big camera is out. Photos are happening naturally. I lose time just being with her. There is much to be said for experience and sleep. Second time round truly is something special. I am enjoying this baby. I finally understand how people can enjoy this stage and I am so grateful to have this chance to experience it. It is so sweet and lovely and I am not afraid that I will accidentally break her!

2016-05-06 SH - six wks - sml-106 May 2016

06 May 2016img_8627.jpg06 May 2016

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