I have been detoxing for three weeks now and each week I gain more energy and more “awakeness” and mind power. Begone all ye anaesthetic bulid up and morphine! I found Conquest fantastic for stimulating and exercising my mind again, if a struggle somewhere in the middle. I didn’t do justice to some of my characters, but in the days following I found my mind reclaiming vocab and grammatical forms which it has not used for many months, and learning to think quickly and actively again.
At the moment I have to keep reminding myself about the past eight months, as it is extremely easy to slip into berating myself for achieving so little and letting nearly a whole year pass with nothing to show for it. I had many plans about my post-op recuperation. I was going to continue my photography course, learn everything I could about photoshop, set up my own website, of course keep a daily photographic record of the progress, and when I was up to sitting at tables, finish my albums. To look back and have my only “accomplishment” be having watched Friends from episode 1 to the end of season 10 can be disheartening and make me feel like I have just wasted away so much precious time.
I have to remind myself that I’ve only had my mind back for a few weeks, and physical energy even less that that. I have to remind myself that recuperation is not a waste of time and has been pretty much all I could cope with. I have to remind myself of the toll of continual chronic pain.
So, instead of berating and regretting, I am setting new goals as of this week, today. I am going to dedicate myself once again to my studies and as such am going to keep proper working hours. So, to all out there, now consider me working too! Just at home, unpaid and on my own thing 🙂
Yay for you!
Fight the good fight Gypsycat! :o)
Once more unto the breach, dear friend!
*hugs*
Good luck. Everything WILL work out
nothing achieved? I think a new knee and returning mobility is a huge achievement! You are not meant to be productive when recuperating, you are already spending all your energy internally, getting that lovely body back on track. You have been incredibly busy. Every friends episode was work time for your body recovering and getting stronger and happier. The trouble with dreams and hopes and high standards is that sometimes they forget to take reality into account and be impressed with the huge undertakings that you wish were already over. I think you have got much done. Staying sane through such a process is cause for accolades. And you have to stop to recover otherwise you undo all the hard work and you will come out of this all hopefully able to spring and jump and gamble due to all the hard work of not doing much whilst recuperating. That’s what I think.
Lots of love from Spring (I saw fields of tulips on the weekend).
Awesome attitude and pretty much exactly how I do it. Yay! Look forward to hearing more about your studies…
Accepting what has happened in your past and moving on in a positive way is an amazing achievement and more than a lot of people will ever succeed in doing.
You always have exactly the words I need to hear. Thank you. You are such a beautiful friend. ((((((HUGS))))))