Feeling better

Thank-you for the various expressions of sympathy and support. The friend who passed away was a family friend – the husband of someone who has been like an aunt/older sister to me and is one of the female rolemodels who features predominantly in my growing up memories. I knew he was going to go, he has been battling cancer for some months now. They got married at the end of November,knowing he did not have long to live, although they have been together for years and years. Still, knowing something is going to happen, and having it happen are two different things. It hurt so much not to be there. Weddings, babies, divorces, new jobs, new houses, these are all things which are missed but can be caught up on once I return home. But being there when a loved one dies is not something that can ever be caught up on. I think, hence the severe feeling of isolation and distance.
The last time I was in Japan, my grandmother died. It was worse then because I had no Tracy to hug me and be gentle with me. I was surrounded by people basically telling me to get over it, I must ‘gaman suru’ (persevere). I think that prolonged to mourning period.
Anyway, just wanted to fill people in a bit on what had happened, and that I’m feeling much better now. But it’s still not ok for anyone else to die this year, okay.