We’ve gotten into a good rhythm recently and after many months of feeling like we’ve just been treading water, or that I’ve been treading water watching R get on with things, I finally feel like we are moving forward again. It’s only taken 14 1/2 months!
We have reached a happy place where Master Z is quite content entertaining himself for periods of time on the weekends while R and I do our organisational things. We are constantly looking for ways to maximise space in our house, and ways to store things. The past year and half has brought things into our house at a rate quicker than we can locate places for them. The result being long months of storing things on the floor…in our room, in the study, in the living area, in the nursery, sometimes even the bathroom! Also, months on end of not seeing our table for all the stuff stored there because I can’t think where else to put them. I have a dream of a place for everything and everything in its place. We are still a ways away from realising that dream, indeed I sneakily suspect that it is a never-quite-obtainable dream, but it feels good to edge closer.
Part of the plan for edging closer is an extension; the addition of a laundry, and another bedroom out the back where our decking sits currently. I never dreamed that I would be so excited about a laundry, but I am giddy with excitement! Although there is something quite sociable about sitting in the hallway, in the middle of our house, sorting and spraying laundry, it will be lovely to have our dirty clothes, and our drying clothes, out of sight. I am also excited about the colour of the laundry. I’ve yet to pick the wall colour but I fell in love with a brilliantly bright and happy striped laminate which will go on all the laundry cupboards. I get my pink room! (Think apricoty-peachy-reddy-pink, not candy pink). Eventually I will be able to set up my darkroom in there as well, though that is a fair way down the track.
In work news, I have resigned from my job and will be a stay at home mum at least until littlies are school age (yes, it is currently only one littlie, but another is in the planning!). There was a lot happening at work that I was unhappy about, first with the return-to-work discussion, then with the (latest) restructure, but ultimately it has been good as it nudged R and I to work out if we really needed my wage. Decision was that we don’t and we’re both happier with the idea of me being at home with the kidlets rather than popping them in childcare for half the week. If the return to work had panned out as smoothly as I’d expected, I would be at work now, missing out on time with my lovely son and wouldn’t have made that leap. So, I have a sour taste after the work stuff, but am very happy about where it led. I am finding that being a mum is far harder and far more rewarding than any job I’ve ever had, and filled with more laughter and joy and love than any workplace has been.
Physically I’m struggling to resume running, some days just struggling full stop. There’s been a couple of solid spurts, then weeks of nothing as I deal with a fatigued body willing to take on board any ol’ virus or bug that it sees passing. The latest in 8 weeks of illness was laryngitis, but I’m getting over it and starting to think about running again. Here’s hoping my body has experimented enough and is now ready to settle down to a committed relationship with good health. My knee is worrying me, but I’m holding onto hope that it just needs to be jolted out of its relaxed existence and that regular running will build the strength back up. If it does continue to give problems, I’ll probably see a knee specialist again but not until I’m done and dusted with pregnancy and breastfeeding and all the lovely, helpful hormones produced during that period. My concern is that the relaxin hormone (seriously, that’s what it is called!) loosened the post-cruciate ligament enough to render the stitches ineffective (there are permanent stitches picking up the slack on that ligament). At least, if it needed to be adjusted, it would be just keyhole surgery and would be a much shorter recovery period than the full reconstruction was.
I have been playing around with photography, mostly photos of Master Z, or other friends and bubs. It feels good to be experimenting with editing them and developing a workflow that suits me. One day soon I keep promising myself that I’ll break out my film camera, hold my breath and hope for at least one photo which doesn’t have Zac blurring out of frame. It seems a bit wrong really that there are no film shots of his first year, but it’s all a matter of progression. The first couple of months were just iPhone pics, then the proper digital camera came out. Film is the next leap, and medium format the final frontier!
One day soon I’ll also get good quality photos onto this blog – I’m not up to developing that step of my workflow yet!
Our kitties are adjusting to their change in status, grudgingly and with much blame laid on each other. Shakti is engaged in a power struggle with Master Z which she is destined to lose, but still she persists. She will not give up her ground to him. He has discovered her tail (fun to pull) and her fur (soft to grab) and desperately wants to snuggle her. Sometimes he does this gently, butting his head against her body but more often he tries to grab her and cover her with his body – Full Body Snuggles!!!!! We are trying to teach him how to be nice to animals, how to approach and pat them so I spend time with the two of them, watching and stepping in where necessary. When I’ve spent enough time doing this, I’ll place Shakti in a warm, comfy *out-of-reach* spot and continue on my way. She, however, is determined not to give up ground to the noisy, tail-pulling one so she jumps down and returns to her spot, next to Master Z and the process starts again. After doing this for 30min last week, I washed my hands of it, telling her she could sort it out herself. Sadly, this is not working (whilst she fights for her ground, she *will not* bite or scratch Master Z) and now R is worried that Master Z is in danger of breaking Shakti’s tail if we’re not careful. All because she refuses to stay in the safe spaces, and he’s too young to understand pain caused to others. Still her patience with him does amaze me and I do think that she’s worked out that he will be another human available for her uses once he is properly trained.
I think that Amber Dusick best sums up how I feel now about our kittes in this blog post. I’m sure our relationship will improve once I have more regular, guaranteed sleep, but until then they wake the baby/pester me/wake me at their peril!
