I have given up Facebook. It hasn’t been as difficult as I expected. It’s a decision that I’ve been toying with for a few months, but I was worried that I would feel isolated without the connection with friends afforded by Facebook. Early on, when night and day were indistinguishable, it provided a way to connect with other mums who were also up, and help me to feel not so alone in the dark. Later, while I was still too tired to follow more than a two sentence conversation, friends’ status updates were the perfect combination of reading and ‘catching up’, such as it was. I’m also part of a mothers’ group on Facebook and have found the group to be an amazing source of encouragement, sympathy, experience and advice. That group has been the one thing keeping me going with Facebook.
Somewhere along the way, however, it stopped being just a tool for connecting with people, hearing snippets of their lives and seeing photos and it became an obsession. I knew it was bad when I’d be stopped at traffic lights and my eyes would glance at my phone, wondering if anyone had posted anything new since I last checked.Especially as I’d probably last checked whilst putting my seatbelt on.
Between Facebook and my Kindle, not to mention Master Z, I’ve felt my attention span shrink and my ability to just sit in the moment without craving entertainment had all but vanished. I’ve heard discussion about the impact of technology on younger generations; that the youth of today flit from topic to another, having never learnt patience, or been required to go for periods of time without entertainment in some form or another, be it an i-device, e-reader, playstation, whatever. So much in the world today encourages immediate gratification and attention in short spurts.
I believe this because I could feel and see it happening in me. I love my kindle. I love having so many books at my fingertips without having to carry around a lot of bulk and weight. A double bonus now that I carry around a backpack full of supplies for Master Z. My kindle gave me back the ability to have a book, or 500, with me at all times. It also gave me the ability to flit from book to book at the touch of a button. I’ve often had two or three books on the go, different books for different moods, but the number of books on the go reached silly proportions this year. At any one time I could say that I was part-way through about five parenting guide books, two parenting experience books and maybe one or two other books. Some of the flitting was justifiable; the parenting guide books often deal with stages of development so I generally read the about the current stage in each book and leave the following chapters to a time closer to the next stage. A lot of what I’ve read this year though I couldn’t tell you about because there’s been quite a bit of ‘in one eye, out the other’ going on. A month or so ago I instigated a rule for myself whereby I had to stick with one reading book and one guide book at any one time and must finish a book before starting a new one. I am getting much more out of the books now and finding reading to be relaxing again.
When I was a child, my mum forbade me from watching T.V. in the mornings. She said that it dulled my mind and sapped my energy. She would head off to work at 6am, leaving me to my own devices in the mornings before school. I would occasionally sneak in some morning T.V viewing, but when she came home at night, she could always tell. I used to wonder how on earth this could be so. But she could, and so I just didn’t watch T.V. in the mornings. Now, I can see what she meant and I can see why it would have been so obvious to her. To this day, I can’t stand watching T.V. in the morning, not because I don’t like it. Oh no, I can get suckered in with the best of them. I don’t like it because I can feel my brain switch off and I spend the day feeling sluggish, unmotivated and just wanting to go back to watching T.V. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve noticed the same thing happening with Facebook. The days that I haven’t checked it first thing in the morning have been much more productive, enjoyable days.
So last week I conducted an experiment. I didn’t tell R what I was going to do, because really, I didn’t want to feel like I’d failed if I gave in and checked it a few times a day. On Monday I just put off checking Facebook. I put it off all day, then the evening. Then the next day and the next. I didn’t say that I was quitting it, and I am keeping my account open so that I can check in every now and then, but I find with each day away, I feel less and less inclined to log in. I actively don’t want to log in, although I do need to make mention to people there that I won’t be around. It was much easier than I expected and so far I am not feeling any more isolated for lack of Facebook contact and conversation. I have been much more motivated and productive, I can think more clearly, I am happier and I am here in the now…sometimes there, in the future, as I plan things.
My online time this past week has been spent working on my blog and I finally have a space that feels All Mine in the online world. I am in love with this layout, and all the options for photo galleries, which I’ve yet to explore. I am so grateful to my wonderful, gorgeous R for helping me over the hump of getting it set up and his ongoing patience with the semi-frequent clashes between myself and technology – he can now head off a confrontation between my laptop and I at Sigh Point, instead of having to wait until I’ve reached Curse Point. Seriously, on-tap IT support – my match in heaven!!! Lucky me to have it here on earth.
