It just occured to me why I’m having a difficult time at my schools, well part of the reason anyway.
I usually take a few months to relax into any new position, after which I gain some confidence and am able to work to the best of my ability. But with changing schools ever three to four weeks, I’m not getting a chance to relax into any one position. Not only that, but teachers have also changed (so I’ve heard) during the spring break yet I won’t finish meeting all my new teachers until mid July.
It’s like I’ve been in a new job for the last eight months, and will continue to feel so at least until summer break.
No wonder it’s been getting me down and stressed.
I only just worked this out because one of the teachers at my next school e-mailed me (a surprise in itself) telling me he has been made head English teacher and he wants/needs my help. I immediately felt nervous and was filled with a feeling of ‘but how can I help, I don’t know the text fully, I don’t know the curriculum’ etc etc. Yet with my private classes I mainly feel excitement and anticipation at the prospect of new students and challenges. Very little self-doubt creeps in _because_ I’m relaxed and confident in that domain. I’ve been there for six months and no longer feel like I’m treading on eggshells.
So maybe my challenge here is to learn to be comfortable and confident in a position much quicker, like within a week. Can this be done? Well, I’ve got a year and a bit to work it out.
