came true this weekend, only for a friend, not me. A friend’s father died very unexpectedly early Saturday morning. Shanta was staying at my house and recieved a call just before 2am from Nitty in tears. We were up and in the car, reaching Nitty’s place by 2.45, a distance which usually takes closer to an hour. And thus we embarked on a very surreal 24+ hours.
Nitty’s boyfriend was already on the plane, on his way for what he thought would be a two week stay in Japan – little did he expect he would be back on a plane 24hrs later. He was expected at 8am, nothing could be arranged earlier so Shanta, Nitty and I packed up her stuff, ready to ship, and started to pack up the stuff that would be left for the next ALT.
Once we’d picked up J from the airport, then the real insanity began. We had to change his return date, get a ticket for her, contact her supervisor, arrange shipping stuff, finalisation of contract stuff, arrange bank account closures, phone disconnection, cleaning apartment etc etc. We called on Blair for his help – my Japanese is not up to this sort of thing when I’m 100% functional, let alone working on 1.5 hrs sleep and the unbelievable knowledge that we were saying goodbye so suddenly to this friend with no knowledge of when we would meet again. Blair was wonderful with contacting her BOE and teachers and discussing all the logistics of getting her home asap.
If someone had’ve told me that doing everything we did yesterday would be possible in 24 hours, on a weekend, I would not have believed it. Yet everything got done and we saw off Nitty and J at 8.30 this morning.
Now Shanta is passed out on my floor and I’m close to it. Everything still feels surreal, then every now and then it hits me and I feel sick. The really scary thing is that the same thing happened to Nitty’s predecessor. She had to leave after just four months in Japan due to her mum dying. I remember when Nitty told me thinking how horrible that would be and what it would be like and how would I handle that situation. But to have it come true to a friend … … it is just so horrible. And now she is gone; the goodbyes have started four months earlier than expected.
I think I will crash now and feel later.
My worst nightmare
I hope she’s okay.
It’s great you were all able to do so much for her.
You’ve always given 100% to your friends, it’s one of the many things that’s great about you, Ambs.
Rest up babe.
Shocking
Claire (Nitty’s predecessor) was one of my very good friends, so I understand how wrenching this can be. Being here when tragedy hits is strange. We wish to comfort and help, but the person must leave to deal with all of the rest of their world of which we really aren’t a part. Then, their sudden absence leaves a raw hole in the social rituals that hold us together. You are an amazing friend for helping her out with all that you did today. And now, those who remain have to depend on each other to fill that void that her leaving has left.
If you are around this weekend, I would love to meet up. It has been ages and I apologise for that.
When is a good time to call you?
Yeah, am thinking of not going to work tomorrow. It’s after 2 and I still can’t sleep…me! Miss Slept Through Her Uni Degree, can’t sleep. Talked to Trace for a couple of hours after Shanta left, watched a movie; am gonna try going to bed again and hopefully sleep will prevail…think I’ve gone through to the other side of exhaustion where I’m too tired to sleep. It’s so stupid and frustrating. Makes me very glad I’m not an insomniac! But I am glad I was able to do stuff to help. I’d much rather be in that position than finding out about it too late to help. She will be home by now…I worked out she was arriving in London about midnight our time. Still not comprehending the whole weekend. At least I know now that if such a thing did happen to me, everything could be organised within 24 hrs *wry grin*
hmmm.. the million dollar question! I can say that Thursdays and every 2nd and 4th Mondays are definitely out. Theoretically I’m home the other nights but it really is pot luck. I also have Wednesday afternoons off so can sometimes be caught at home then.Sorry to be so unhelpful :-/ The plus side is that I have an answering service and love getting messages!
Oh, and I’m *fingers crossed* getting a new tat in the next couple of months!! I’ve decided to get a bat on the back of my neck…just need to choose/make a design. As soon as I decide on a design, then I’m taking myself off to Osaka for some ink! Very excited :-))) *would bounce if had energy*
Oh and I love the photo of you two….will be printing it out this week – am at the school with colour printer..yay! Thanks ๐
ps. W mentioned that ivan has an lj…what’s his username?
Daijobu?
Sorry to read your recent post. I hope that all is OK in Wakayama after the sudden (and unexpected) departure of a dear friend.
I’m here if you need a chat!
Re: Shocking
Yeah, I’d love to meet up….umm a couple of options: Friday night I think Blair is organising a ่ฑ่ฆ gathering at the castle if you’re interested..just have to confirm with him.
Saturday I have ่ถ้ใin ็ฒๆฒณ็บใat three, so I could head over earlier and drop in, maybe we could have lunch…
Let me know what/when would suit you ๐
One thing that really impressed me over this whole weekend was how helpful and caring all her work people were: the koochoo sensei, her supervisor, the head of BOE, fellow teachers. it seemed like there was a stream of people calling by on Saturday to express their sympathy for her and say goodbye. It was really nice.
Just can’t believe the same thing happening twice in the same apartment. I so wouldn’t want to be the next ALT coming along to such stories.
Are you still in touch with Claire?
Re: Daijobu?
Thanks ๐
Things are ok so far…but it still doesn’t feel like she’s gone. I think it’ll be a slow thing, for me at least, because I only saw her every two or three weeks. Whereas Shanta lived next door so they saw each other a lot and there are other friends who saw Nitty every weekend. Think it’s gonna hit them harder.
hey, Shanta and I are gonna be in Tokyo for golden week…will you be around? And can you suggest some rocking clubs…we’re _so_ in the mood to let loose and boogie the night away!!! If there are any that yu know that specialise in the retro 60’s,70’s,80’s, it would be too perfect…..
My deepest empathy for your friend, and for you. This is a very difficult thing to go through.
I lost my mother when I was 16, and my father a few years after. It changes a person, and friends are so necessary.
thag.
Thinking of friending him soonish.
That sounds beautiful. How big?
Go big. Across your shoulder blades.
Dare you too!
I’ve been hanging for some more tatts but have to postpone now that I’m going to be getting up the duff. (Apparently the endorphin rush that accompanies inkwork isn’t that cool for lil fetuses, I’m not too sure but don’t want to chance it).
By the way is the plural ‘fetuses’ of ‘feti’? I really should know this one, given uni and all.
I’m curious to hear if your accent is changing, will be interesting to chat.
Yeah, friends are absolutely vital. I’m incredibly lucky and have strong friendships both here and at home. Nothing substitutes for friends who are there through all weathers.
I’m really sorry to hear about your parents. I suppose you get that a lot, but I really am. When I was 18, a friend who was pratically a sister lost her mother to cancer. She was 17 and her brother 14. It was so hard seeing them so lost and feeling cheated.
I believe strongly that all things happen for a reason, but for some things, it is extremely difficult to find that reason.
Re: Shocking
Either way is o.k. for me this weekend…I really don’t have much of a plan other than Japanese Class from 430-530 on Friday night. I was thinking of heading to Bar Sol this evening for some tastiness before Jian leaves (at the end of THIS MONTH!). Someone new is taking over the place, so Bar Sol won’t be closing, but without Jian behind the bar it won’t be the same. Are you free tonight (and willing to make the trek out here?)? If you are, let’s enjoy going together! Otherwise, I’ll see you at the weekend.
I have kind of fallen out of touch with Claire, but after all of this happening, it does make me realize that she is due an email or a real letter.
Re: Shocking
Unfortunately I am busy tonight, otherwise would be there in a flash. Man, the end of this month huh? Better get my butt into gear then. Jeez…
Come to ่ฑ่ฆใFriday night – it’ll be fun…. and then if for some reason you don’t make it, we can always meet up Sat for lunch….