I’ve been thinking a lot about traditions this month, as we consider what Christmas traditions we want to have in our little family. There so many different cultural and societal traditions surrounding this time of year, and different family traditions on each side, some of which we want to keep and some which we don’t.
I am still undecided about how I want to approach the tradition of Father Christmas. For me, Father Christmas was just magical and although Mum engineered my “discovery” of the truth in a fun way, I was devastated by the loss. Christmas lost it’s magic that year and it has only regained the magic in recent years, as we’ve shared Christmases with nieces and nephews, siblings and parents. Some of my best Christmases have been spent carolling with R’s family on Chrissie Eve, and playing in the pool with my Yarrawonga nieces on Chrissie Day. From these experiences, I’ve decided that I like the relaxed, informal approach. As a child, I used to love that I got to dress in my good clothes for Christmas, but now I appreciate being able to relax, hang about in bathers in the pool or join in whatever other activity the children in the family may choose to pursue.
R’s mum always provides him and I with a Christmas stocking. The first year that I received one of these stockings, some of the magic came back, in a way that wasn’t limited to childhood. It was the same magic, the same excitement that I felt as a child when waking to find the pillowcase at the end of my bed stuffed with presents. It doesn’t matter that I know who all the gifts are from, that I know they weren’t delivered like magic by Father Christmas riding on his sleigh pulled by reindeer. The excitement is still there.
Prior to Christmas’s with R;s family, there was one other time that I received a stocking and that was at my best friend’s family Christmas. I was a late addition to their Christmas, just a day or twos notice, yet my friend’s mum had gone out and found a stocking for me – sparkly purple, no less – and filled it up, just the same as everyone else. I suspect I was already quite partial to a stocking as they made me feel so loved and included with that simple, yet dedicated gesture – can you imagine going out shopping for a stocking and stocking presents on Christmas Eve?!
This year, R and I have decided that the stockings should be for everybody, not just the children (and us because we stubbornly refuse to let go of our stockings!) Hopefully his parents will enjoy their stockings and like the idea too. I’ve had as much fun finding stocking presents as I do opening a stocking.
It’s important to me that whatever traditions we choose to include in our family Christmas, I never want our children to have that moment of feeling that all magic is lost, like I did. They probably won’t notice that all the adults have less presents than they do but they will notice that everyone gets a stocking; and they’ll have no reason to assume that the stockings go away once you grow up.
This doesn’t solve the Father Christmas dilemma though, as I intend the stockings to be just part of Christmas, not part of the Father Christmas story. My presents from Father Christmas were always put into my pillowcase, which I would lay across the end of my bed before going to sleep. My mum had definite guidelines for the contents – there was always an item of clothing, a book, a toy and something else. The majority of the presents were attributed to Father Christmas. For R, presents from Santa just appeared under the tree and didn’t make up the majority of presents. I’m leaning towards the tree idea, in my effort to de-emphasise the Father Christmas side of things. Also, depending on packaging, a pillowcase could involve quite a lot of presents!
At this stage, I figure that we don’t have to start at this stage as he probably won’t remember by next Christmas. Also, when thinking about this I’m imagining Christmas at home, whereas the reality of the next few years at least will be that we’ll be having Christmas in the country or down at the beach, depending on the year. We are finally, sadly, at the point where we have to alternate which family we spend Christmas with. It was all very neat for the years that R’s family celebrated on Christmas Eve and their house was on the way to my folks’ house. Now that they live down at the beach, the distance between the two houses is too great to attempt with a toddler.
Presents also need some consideration. Quite by accident I have bought Master Z beautiful books for his first and second Christmas, the sort of books that you keep forever (and currently keep out of reach!). When I realised this, I thought it was quite appropriate and have decided that that will be a tradition for us. Apart from that, I need to give myself present boundaries so that I don’t go crazy buying all the things that I think he will love! Maybe I’ll use Mum’s old formula: a book, an item of clothing and a toy/activity item. Maybe Father Christmas could supply the supplementary items to the toy that we give him, i.e.. we give him a train set and Father Christmas gives him some scenery items to use with the train set, or additional carriages. That sort of thing. Yes, that could work well.
I think what I most want Master Z to take away from his childhood Christmases is of it being a time for sharing fun, and yummy food, with family. We will teach him the Christian story of Christmas, and the tradition of celebrating midsummer. Mostly though, I want him to grow up loving Christmas as I have come to love it, without experiencing years of hating it, as I did. It can be a magical time, for adult or child.
